he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Drunk is a universal language darling
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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