You're so nebulous sometimes
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
