Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
