is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
