I just made out with a guy for $7.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize