I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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