it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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