im drinking this country out of the recession.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I want her autograph on my taint
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
