Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
