do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
