This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize