There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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