I hate your face
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
