there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
