I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He shit in the fireplace
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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