He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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