when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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