She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
