you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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