when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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