What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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