i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I can't put those talents on a resume
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
