sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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