is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
This is my gift to your gina
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
