Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize