Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize