omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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