Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
