he shaved USA in his pubs
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
