god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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