Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
this boner is exhausting
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
