mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
