Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
