Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize