your thong is hanging out like whoa
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
