Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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