I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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