Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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