First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Randomize
