PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
