We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
