She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
