lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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