its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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