Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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