I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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