I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
