I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
