he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
