I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I pour the whiskey from now on
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
