eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
