my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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