im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
