I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize