so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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