it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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