I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
