And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
