BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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