he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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