Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize