Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
