My brain says no but my pants say off.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
