that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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