i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
