he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
