meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
