oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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