My boss' voice literally gives me gas
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
