The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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